AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

Ugggghhhhhh!!!!NO!No!NO! Not Again! Please Lord Why Again!! I am so disappointed. i went frm having a barely there positive to a faint positive back to a almost not there positive. NEGATIVE, that's what the doctor said Negative, i said no that's not right i had a pretty good almost positive test, how could it be back to negative?? i had to see for myself, but there it was...no darker line it actually faded back negative. I just cried. Why can't I just have a successful pregnancy? Why is it so hard? I don't just want a baby. I want my own. Is it too much to ask for cause I have kids already?! I don't care, I don't care that I have kids or have a 2yr old, I may sound selfish or greedy for more but why can our grandparents have 11 to 18 kids and some of us cant even have ONE! Im 35, I dont have that much longer and im not giving up! Im having a baby again and I'm gonna keep trying till menopause comes along!!