For All Those who are just trying...

Af is gone for me so I start a new journey, Im just not gonna try anymore, it just so stressful tracking and counting days and making sure you dont do this or that, Im done. I wont be back till I suspect AF isnt coming for the month that way I have something to write about instead of waiting around. You girls are great and have been great supporters with not just me but everyone, tweaking and advise you girls gv alot of hope for the future. To those who have been trying for a long, long time.. I know you want a baby and I know how frustrated you are Ive only been tryin for 2 1/2 yrs but I knw some hv been longer, continue to hv hope and faith but stop making it your obsession, stressing over it isnt working and has soon as you enjoy life your miracle will probably happen. for those who hv help though doctors, do what you have to do then go have some fun, watch a good movie and put your mind in a different place, with those who see baby and baby news anywhere, Ive been in the office with babies everywhere and in bellies but mine was miscarrying at this same moment, best advise is well probably none, putting up a front is probably the only thing you can do, screaming and crying is allowed for a vent moment but if theres nothing you can do then dont dwell on it like I said before place your mind somewhere else, and for those who this may apply to, learn to accept that a person in your life is having a child and try your best to be happy for them cuz your gonna be seeing them alot. One of my last angel babies made it to 14 weeks and my SIL was pregnant to, a month behind but still at the same time as me, when I was burying my baby boy she was big and healthy with hers, he's a year old now and I love him, but knowing I could hv a son the same age as him will always be with me. This will probably have different reactions but it is your life you can do what you want it's just my own opinion on how I view things at this time. Good luck to everyone trying and having healthy pregnancies. Lots of baby dust to all.

Right on Time

Well AF came as scheduled on Friday, Even though I knew it was coming I still had that tiny hope that I was wrong. I have my first Dr. visit on Monday and I'm hoping to get something done wither it's removing fibroids or taking something to shrink them or a magic pill of something. I know Im not pregnant for a reason I can feel that but what I don't know is why not, what is it thats keeping me from having another baby in my life...Im wondering if there"s any truth to what my last doctor said about me taking a risk and I might die from some type of complication, I don't have any major health issues Im not allergic to anything Im a little anemic which brings up "if we have to gv u blood, r u ok with that" comes up but Im actually not a bleeder but they say if something hem merges.. well thats why Im seeing the DR on Monday to do something and not hoping I'll get lucky again. The day they told me my son was going to be delivered, the nurse took me to my room and hooked up the baby monitor around my tummy, she said" your very lucky to have became pregnant with him, its a miracle" I really didnt hv a reaction at the time but I also didnt realize how true that sentence was either. For now I'll just pray and maybe God will hear me.

Big FAIL!!

I took a morning test today att 11 DPO and it was a big fail, AF is coming this weekend and if not will be testing on Monday ok maybe Sunday... But I didn't feel pregnant this time around and I needed to knw if there was going be that infamous faint line or a BFN. So I got the BFN. I didn't weigh in Sunday cuz, I'm not very good at trying to lose weight if I'm not all in, I was trying to get pregnant, so I'll start today.... For sure... Now that I don't hv to worry about if baby is there or not, I knw it still mightn't be early or cld hv O'd late but let's face it I'm to on schedule to gv myself false hope. So don't worry about me,( not that anybody is) I'll just b exercising...

3 week mark

Yay its finally here, if im pregnant then I would be 3 weeks today. Another 1/2 week and I'll start testing till the 4 week mark which either means AF will come or I will be 1 month pregnant. I can't wait to know but at the same time I don't feel it either,I hv more of a feeling that it didn't go through and im not pregnant at all. I hv my appt set up and ready in case there is a problem then this will gv me a chance to work on it.

The DEED is Done!

Baby Dancing week is over! ok so the deed is done and hopefully something is now in progress, I can't wait to find out if there is a baby growing or not, if it's not the disappointment won't be hard, like I said before I'll just stop trying and let it happen, no more tracking, buying test, stressing, and thinking, "I'm I pregnant, Should I test again" it's too much work and energy, all im gonna do is talk to the genetic dr and find out whats going on. I was just telling a member of BC that I bet these MC happened bcuz of the fibroid s

I hv. They hv to find a good spot to implant and fight for blood supply, maybe if I get a BFN this month I'll ask him if it's a good idea for me to get them removed if possible to get a better pregnancy result. I'm not giving up I will hv a baby, I trust God to to lead me to a positive result eventually. So now a 2ww. well a week and a half, who r we kidding, I'll probably b testing early, lol. So my "good eating diet" did not go well this week, there was another bday party with brisket, cake, ice-cream, hotdogs, and I made cheese enchiladas yesterday so my weight is... Yea just as I thought I'm at 148, I think last week I was 146 so I gained 2 lbs, Ok so I'll just get back on track and try to eat better this week, hope I can get better self control, there cookies in the house and my SIL just brought in chocolate honey buns yesterday and I'll yelled at them," yur the enemy!" yes I was talking to pastry cuz there soo good and I knw if I hv one evil food will take over and I don't need that.

Having Hope

The big weekend is coming up, I'm so excited. All this BDing for a new life is great, I feel the love and hopefully my uterus does too. LOL. This is kinda stressful for DH so I decided that if this month does not succeed I will quit tryin and just let it happen. Tryin to conceive is definitely more stressful and when were not thinking about it, it does happen to have better results. MY insurance was approved today so now I can call the genetic doctors office to see if there is a problem I have to take care of.I know it's possible because my son is here but I have to find out what my chances are again because of my history and age. Age, wow, it's a lil hard to admit I'm older now and that it could be a possibility for my recent MC's. Im just hoping to be able to overwrite this inconvenience and give my husband the big family I know he and I desperately want. So planned or not it is a goal and there is a time limit so hopefully its one we can win together.

Set Back

Not only did I lose 9lbs, feels like I gained all of it plus more back right now, we had leftovers from the party &I didn't eat right at all today, I didn't hv breakfast, ate 2 chili hotdogs for lunch & had brisket,tortilla, beans & more chili,twice, ya, it was that bad.I feel so full. Oh & there is a worst part, I had cake. I am so nauseated just thinking about what I ate today & to see that it is definitely harder to lose than gain. The worst part is over & I'm planning to start over but I'm scared to weigh to see how much set back I am but I'm not weighing till Sunday so with that said, I'll start BD to burn off calories.

Week of dancing

Today is Sunday and I'm happy to report, It's BD week!!! Yay! At the end of this week "O" will be here so hopefully she gets fertilized and baby will be on it's way. KMFC!! I weigh myself today and lost 3 more lbs, so now is at 146. I hope I can continue I usually stop trying after I feel better about my weight, but I know it has to be a lifetyle change and not a temp. change. My weigh in will be every Sunday from now on. So yesterday was my baby D's 3rd B-day. My baby boy is growing up, I'm so proud of him, it looked like he had a good day, he was so excited to see all his spiderman stuff, he stayed up till 1am playing with he's toys.

Well today is a new day and best wishes to everyone TTC. Lots of BABYDUST!!

Ready for some love

ok so I weighed myself today and I went from 155 to 149. So yay me I lost 6lbs. To bad my son's b-day party is this weekend cause were serving not so healthy food, maybe I can practice self control and not pig out. So my baby dancing week is coming up and Im so excited, hopefully my DH won't notice what day THE DEED is suppose to be done so the pressure doesnt happen that night, so I won't say anything but as soon as next week is over the the 2ww starts and the baby dancing of course continues for good luck ;)So while I'm waiting I'll continue to hopefully eat healthy so I can start off at least at a better weight. So I'll post and let you know how the party goes.